From a young age, our grandparents and parents often taught us to have self-respect and maintain a good image for ourselves and our families. This approach to education, if applied correctly, can greatly enhance cognitive development, foster independence, and help avoid unnecessary conflicts. However, overly emphasizing external appearances can unintentionally lead to the loss of genuine and valuable authenticity.
There’s a quote by an author that says, “Preserving appearances is the hardest to let go of, yet the most futile”. With that in mind, preserving one’s dignity through appearances a good or bad. How can we fully harness its positive value and know where to draw the line in order to communicate wisely and intelligently? Let’s delve deeper into this topic with Trang Viết Việt Nam (TVVN).
1. Origin and Meaning of the Term ‘Dignity’ (mean sĩ diện in Vietnamese)
According to Vietnamese historical records, the term ‘sĩ diện’ has been in existence for over two thousand years and is regarded as the most significant aspect of communication culture during the feudal historical era when society was divided into social classes. Specifically, the interpretation of the term ‘sĩ diện’ is a compound word in Sino-Vietnamese, consisting of the character ‘sĩ (士)’ which signifies intellectuals, highly educated individuals, nobility, those with good moral character, and ‘diện (面)’, which in this context generally refers to one’s outward appearance, illustrating self-respect, respect, honor, and personal integrity.
Therefore, the true meaning of the term ‘sĩ diện’ is dignity the expression of self-respect, honor, and integrity based on moral character, knowledge, and wisdom. In the past, ‘sĩ diện’ was used for individuals with good moral character, high intellect, broad knowledge, refined manners, courtesy, and a sense of respect and honor for themselves and others, in order to avoid being looked down upon as ‘lacking proper etiquette’, which could affect ancestral and family reputation.
Furthermore, in the Analects, Confucius once explained the Chinese phrase: “行已有耻，事无四方，不辱君命 (Carry out your responsibilities with honor, conduct your affairs without deceit, and do not dishonor your duties)”. This phrase emphasizes the importance of individuals taking responsibility for their actions, possessing social consciousness, feeling shame when they make mistakes, and remaining vigilant to protect their moral integrity. When undertaking responsibilities, one must always consider the best interests of their nation. Regardless of where they are, they should strive to fulfill their duties to the best of their abilities. Individuals who adhere to these principles will never engage in actions that bring shame to their country or compromise their own character; they embody the true essence of ‘sĩ’ (dignified individuals).
Therefore, in ancient times, the five primary social classes, ‘Scholars (Sĩ), Farmers, Workers, Merchants, and Soldiers’, were ranked, and under feudal dynasties, the ‘Scholars (sĩ),’ were placed in the foremost position. This illustrates the significant role that the intellectual class played in the societal development of the past
Therefore, there is nothing wrong when people aspire to cultivate an appearance of erudition, refinement, elegance, sophistication, and composure. Hence, intellectuals with profound knowledge and a sense of decorum naturally seek to maintain their dignity, which is a common and reasonable pursuit.
2. Why does conceit arise and the potential harms it can cause?
Looking at the definition above, we can clearly see that maintaining one’s dignity remains a highly commendable trait when adhering to principles rooted in ethics, always preserving self-respect, and having a sense of shame about oneself. These qualities will help us appear more favorably in the eyes of others. However, if self-esteem is set too high, it can inadvertently lead to a flaw known as excessive self-importance. This occurs when individuals touch upon self-worth due to past traumas, failures, or mistakes that they never want to repeat. Consequently, they react negatively and subjectively through rigid, inflexible behavior, lack of composure, and a lack of clarity
But if one solely seeks to gain compliments, respect, admiration, and praise from others, and creates a conceited façade to hide their own weaknesses, self-doubt, and insecurities about their abilities, financial or family situation
This not only steals one’s self-confidence but also diminishes the valuable quality of honesty. Furthermore, when exposed as a liar, it subjects them to mockery and contempt from others. Because ‘paper can never wrap up fire’, no matter how well one conceals, time will ultimately bear witness to it.
In fact, there have been numerous pitiable stories stemming from conceit gone awry, as some cannot accept their own shortcomings, refusing to let anyone perceive them as inferior, regardless of their circumstances or past. This could be due to experiencing deprivation, loss, or being deeply affected by a strong desire for recognition, leading them to constantly put on a facade of ‘I am living a happy and prosperous life’. When they can no longer brag, they’ll turn to deception, and in some cases, even resort to fraud and deceit, ultimately leading to a downward spiral of greed and delusion that can result in incarceration.
3. How to Enhance the Beauty of Dignity in Modern Culture
In advanced nations like the United States, Australia, the United Kingdom, France, Canada, and several other developed countries, there is a strong focus on child education. Among these, dignity is considered a crucial element in shaping the character development of children. Top of Form
Therefore, from a very young age, children are encouraged to speak truthfully, respect differing viewpoints, practice active listening, admit to their mistakes, and learn how to make amends in order to understand their responsibilities and the boundaries of their behavior. Simultaneously, they are taught to foster independence and respect for personal boundaries. Consequently, most of them refrain from asking personal questions to prevent putting others in uncomfortable or bothersome situations, as they consider such actions as lacking tact and politeness.
On the other hand, they place particular emphasis on expressing emotions, showing empathy, and offering encouragement and support. For instance, they often use phrases like: “I’m so glad everything is going well for you”, “I appreciate your kind-heartedness”, “I genuinely apologize”, “I’m truly sorry for that”, “I feel for you going through that”, “You did a great job”, or “I really commend your efforts”, etc.
These are all aspects of modern cultural beauty that allow individuals to express themselves. In addition, rather than criticizing, condemning, and judging, we should patiently listen to differences in order to create a harmonious and friendly communication environment. Although we cannot choose where we are born, we have the right to choose the kind of healthy life we want to lead.
By TVVN Press
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