The inner world of each person always contains a multitude of emotions at different times, sometimes full of joy, other times filled with sadness, and even accompanied by feelings of loneliness and despair. These emotions can only be resolved by oneself, but if someone is willing to listen, empathize, and offer sincere advice, then be grateful to them for these acts.
An author once said, “Inside each person is a lonely island”. This is because as we grow up, we all have issues to ponder, emotions to worry about, anxiety, sadness, and even lingering regrets, sometimes even bitter resentments that are hard to forget. Each individual has their own way of coping with their ‘inner struggles.’ Some choose silence and avoidance, while others are willing to confront, and sometimes, they can’t contain themselves and want to speak out to soothe the pain they’re suffering. Furthermore, in the field of medicine, it is also encouraged to ‘let out’ all negative emotions because holding onto them for too long can harm the body and have a negative impact on future health.
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Therefore, when feeling excessively tired and unable to bear it, seek out those with psychological expertise or someone who can empathize, listen deeply, and give honest advice without expecting any gain, and remember to appreciate them for the following reason.
1. They devote considerable time and attention because they value the relationship
For those with young children or busy jobs, their sleep and rest time become even more precious. Not to mention life’s pressures and worries such as finances, health, parenting, marital relationships, family, and the surrounding uncertainties, which leave them exhausted and disheartened with no one to truly understand. That’s why, for the most part, they can’t concentrate on listening, and sometimes, they don’t even want to accept a recurring event or ‘vent out’ their frustrations and baseless anger with unrelated stories. Because, regardless of whether it’s a loved one or any relationship, no one is obligated to listen to the joys and sorrows of others, unless they choose to do so out of care.
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And if someone dedicates ample time to listen with genuine empathy and offer positive advice, it signifies that they truly cherish this relationship and are willing to help us break free from negative emotions and emotional distress to avoid regrettable consequences.
2. Their work is impacted because they are drawn into negative energy
According to several Google surveys, it has been discovered that the key to an individual’s happiness and success is the interaction environment among individuals, which they refer to as ‘psychological safety’. Furthermore, based on the latest research published in the journal Current Biology and synthesized by scientists, it has been confirmed that ‘Emotions can spread from one person to another through mirror neurons’. These are brain cells that are activated when we observe someone’s behavior, such as witnessing a yawn, which triggers an unconscious urge to imitate the same action. In other words, if we see someone feeling tired or stressed, we are prone to being influenced to exhibit similar behavior.
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Furthermore, Dr. Tara Perrot, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Dalhousie University in Canada, stated, “In everyone’s subconscious, there is an ability to pick up on the emotions of others, particularly quickly absorbing negative emotions”. Additionally, Professor of Neuroscience at the University of Cambridge, Mr. Joe Herbert, noted, “If someone is in a state of fear, in a state of tension, the panic can spread throughout the community, regardless of whether there is a real cause or not”.In reality, there is a wealth of evidence showing that exposure to frequent negative information from others can adversely impact one’s mental state, leading to a decline in job performance, and sometimes even significant setbacks. For individuals with keen powers of observation, most of them are acutely aware of this phenomenon. However, out of a certain kind of love, they accept the losses to help uplift the spirits of others. In some cases, they even take on the role of an unwitting psychological therapist.
3. They put their whole heart into giving advice, but they continue to repeat it without any change
This is perhaps the saddest and most disheartening aspect of their willingness to care and help someone break away from negative thinking. At times, they even invest their precious time, contemplating how to approach the situation, in the hope of bringing optimism and kindling a single ray of hope for that person to truly lead a joyful and happy life.
However, the other person persists in holding the same viewpoint and repeating the painful conclusion once more, then seeks solace through sharing for relief. Repeatedly, inadvertently touching their self-esteem, as they feel the other party lacks respect and belittles the passion they invest time in contemplating and sharing, dismissing it as mere ‘reference for fun’ without any willingness to put it into practice. At times, there is a lack of gratitude or expression of thanks after they have escaped from sadness. It is from these moments that they gradually lose trust, enthusiasm, and no longer wish to serve as an emotionally futile support as they did before.
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Mr Hau, a consultant who has lived abroad, shares: “In developed countries, every time they want to chat with someone, they always send a message because they’re afraid of disturbing someone’s time or invading their privacy when the other person is working or resting. Therefore, they ask for permission in advance. If the other person feels comfortable, the conversation takes place, typically lasting about 10 to a maximum of 30 minutes. The content must provide useful, enjoyable value. Moreover, they are very limited in complaining unless someone passes away; in such cases, they express deep empathy.”
Mr Hau is advising a client. Photo: TVVN
He further added: “When facing psychological issues, most of them try to find solutions on their own. Some seek help from specialists or psychological doctors for treatment, or they seek positive advice to help themselves return to a balanced state. The cost varies, with an average hourly counseling rate in developed countries ranging from $80 to $250, while in developing countries, it’s currently around $25 to $80 per hour”
Through this, we can see the value of having someone who is willing to listen to our confessions or offer sincere advice, and how precious it truly is.
By TVVN Press
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