Each child’s maturity is thanks to their birth and upbringing from their parents. Among them, siblings are considered the closest relationship in the family. Because they are connected by blood and familial ties, siblings often readily provide mutual support and assistance to each other in times of trouble and difficulties. However, is this assistance their responsibility?
In Vietnamese folklore, there is a saying: “Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet”, reminding us of the importance of family bonds and interconnectedness. This metaphor helps us visualize that siblings are like hands and feet, which are integral parts of the parents’ body and cannot be separated or missing. However, hands and feet serve two completely independent functions, sharing the responsibility of supporting the body. They rely on each other for sustenance and survival, making mutual assistance essential. Nevertheless, if one part is missing, the remaining part still can be independent, even though it may encounter numerous difficulties due to taking on the role of replacement, and even bear a heavier burden when the other half cannot function.
Similarly, siblings are all children born to the same parents, so each individual has the responsibility to care and show gratitude for their nurturing to fulfill their filial duties. Especially for filial children with profound understanding, they comprehend that helping their brothers and sisters is also a way of showing gratitude to their parents. Therefore, when they see their siblings facing adversity, suffering, or making wrong choices, they will find ways to offer support and advice. However, siblings are also independent and separate individuals, especially after getting married or when their parents pass away. This connection only remains strong if both parties genuinely value their familial bond and treat each other with love and respect.
Boundaries and Responsibilities of Siblinghood
In a family, it is essential to maintain the principle of ‘respecting the elders and yielding to the younger’ to build unity and order among its members. Furthermore, this boundary is a crucial moral standard for fostering the sibling bond when both sides show care, respect, and mutual understanding toward each other. This not only avoids conflict, reduces psychological harm, and alleviates feelings of inferiority for loved ones but also helps the bond become sustainable.
Although siblings can share, encourage, support, and protect each other, they should avoid interfering too deeply in each other’s private lives or having excessive expectations or reliance on one another, as everyone has their struggles and difficulties.
In addition to the shared responsibility of caring for and supporting parents, the only collective duty among each family member is to maintain harmony within the extended family, always fostering warmth and happiness. Moreover, it is essential to avoid arguments and nurture a loving and caring attitude towards siblings. This is the greatest joy that parents wish to see in their children.
Don’t forget that helping each other among siblings is also a blessing
In life, there are countless unexpected challenges that we will encounter. Especially, when facing difficulties in finance, work, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed without finding a way out or a solution. During such times, if someone volunteers or agrees to help with concern and compassion, they prioritize our well-being, not seeking personal benefits, and wholeheartedly support us emotionally and financially in the period when we are in need and feeling pessimistic. Such people are often very rare, but if we are lucky enough to encounter them, they are considered good people.
Unfortunately, many people still misunderstand that good people are those outside, and they forget about their siblings who unconditionally support each other, and also count as a benefactor, a valuable person. Because they fail to see through, they unintentionally behave ungratefully towards their benefactors, assuming that helping each other among siblings is a given duty. Therefore, sometimes there are disrespectful actions such as insults, verbal abuse, and gossip when they no longer receive assistance from their loved ones and siblings. Consequently, this leads to conflicts and regrettable consequences, causing the loss of both family bonds and human connections.
Gratitude is a Responsibility
Vietnamese people have a saying: “When drinking water, think of its source; when you eat a fruit, think of the man who planted the tree”. This proverb implies the admonition for each individual not to forget those who have helped us in difficult times, no matter how small the assistance may be. It also educates us to appreciate and be grateful to our ancestors, grandparents, and parents for giving us life. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the recipient to value and deeply remember these contributions through respectful behavior, kind treatment, or repaying kindness with practical actions. Thus, in sibling relationships, if assistance is provided within one’s capacity without negatively affecting our own family, it is considered a positive and highly commendable act. This not only demonstrates care for siblings but also indirectly expresses gratitude to the parents who raised and nurtured us during our childhood days.
However, even more importantly, one should not rely on the kindness of brothers and sisters or compete for personal gain, as it may cause trouble and damage their reputation and interests. And it is even more important not to ignore them when they are in difficulties, at a dead end, or to reject their help.
All of these actions unintentionally make us appear ungrateful in the eyes of others, resulting in condemnation and mockery from society. Therefore, we should always value gratitude whenever we receive assistance from brothers and consider it a responsibility to reciprocate, thereby fostering stronger bonds among siblings with deep affection.
By TTVN Press
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