In life, each person has physical and mental growth, largely thanks to parenting or a desire to gain knowledge and pursue a career based on the guidance of teachers. Especially the close friendships around us contribute to building our personality, thriving on psychological emotions. However, in reality, lasting friendships are rare, and most of them eventually come to an end at a certain time. So, what causes their intimate feelings to fade away?
People often say: “When at home one depends on one’s parents, and when away from home on one’s friends” to emphasize the significance of cultivating influential friendships in shaping our careers and lives. Additionally, it serves as a reminder to choose our companions wisely to avoid negative psychological effects, as the saying goes: “A man is known by the company he keeps” If we lack depth and understanding of our friend. Therefore, it is important to understand the rules of choosing friends and how to maintain friendships correctly.
1. Why is it important to have friends, and what are the criteria for a good friendship?
The essence of human beings is inherently connected through the bonds of parents, grandparents, and relatives. Each individual is like a link, fostering deep connections among family members, both near and far. Similarly, friendships play a crucial role in shaping our future, expanding knowledge, and self-development, contributing to the establishment of more sustainable social connectivity.
Moreover, in life, countless pressures and responsibilities weigh heavily on our shoulders, often accompanied by feelings of loneliness and the inability to express ourselves to others. During times of sadness or when we are emotionally down, friendships serve as a lifeline, providing positive energy and support, enabling us to navigate through life’s challenges with greater ease.
For ages, the stories of Liu Ping – Yang Li or Yu Boya – Zhong Ziqi, have been passed down, representing profound and beautiful friendships. They cherished each other like sworn brothers, disregarding social status and positions, but instead offering care, respect, and empathy. Moreover, they were willing to selflessly sacrifice their own interests and silently support their friends when they were lost, while also having compassion for their friends experiencing unfortunate circumstances. Therefore, understanding, empathy, and loyalty are the roots of nurturing a good friendship.
2. What causes friendships to deteriorate?
From being strangers, it is possible to quickly develop a close bond akin to that of ‘good sisters/brothers’ because both parties share similar perspectives and mindsets, making it easy to integrate. The other friend consistently provides the individual with a sense of peace of mind, trust, and respect. Especially the knots in their hearts are solved when they receive sympathy, care and give sincere advice to help them get rid of their worries and sorrows for a long time. Therefore, the relationship is getting closer and closer, so they always want to share and talk regardless of the time, even without hesitation to reveal each other’s private life secrets.
However, during the stage of friendship challenges, enthusiastic individuals, skeptical, and have high self-esteem are often susceptible to psychological hurt when they perceive that their friend looks down on them or shows a lack of respect, such as not paying attention to the conversation, disregarding their efforts, not responding to messages, randomly finding themselves blocked, associating with someone they dislike, or hearing someone else speak ill of them, and so on. These experiences can gradually fade and strain their inner emotions, causing a rift in the relationship
Nevertheless, the stage of conflict presents an opportunity for both individuals to test and determine the level of ‘close friendship’. Simultaneously, it is crucial to self-reflect and evaluate if we have demonstrated enough tolerance, understanding, and empathy toward our friend, or if we have misconstrued the essence of true friendship. Because genuine friendship never lacks care, or respect, and is not easily broken off over a trivial matter without clarifying the reasons
3. How can we maintain long-lasting friendships?
Every friend, regardless of their qualities, is a valuable lesson that helps us develop a multidimensional and profound perspective of life. If we are fortunate enough to encounter good friends who guide us towards goodness and beauty, as the saying goes “A true soulmate is hard to find in a hundred years, kindred spirits are hard to come by, and a good friend is difficult to get to know”. Therefore, identifying a sincere and understanding friend requires a considerable amount of time and effort, so let us not misunderstand or hinder the growth of our friendships.
Mr. An, 78 years old, shared: “Conflict and disagreement are almost present in every relationship, whether close or not. However, if we truly value that friend, we should proactively inquire to understand the source and cause of the conflict, why they have changed, or if we have unintentionally done something to upset them. The more we clarify, the more we can avoid hurting both sides, as the other person surely has a legitimate reason that we may not know. A good friendship must be nurtured with trust, gratitude, and respect. When we reach old age, we will realize that meeting each other is truly precious.
By TVVN Press
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